Well hellooo there.
I’m Nicole. Former metaphorical soldier, lover of restless questions, who curses like a fucking sailor.
I happen to also be a professional pointer-outer of possibilities. Don’t let my badassery fool you, I’m no hard ass. I will tear up when you tell me you feel as if you’re hired help in your own family.
But hold on, what you really want to know is will I get it? Will I understand the quiet despair you dare not name (Like Voldemort in Harry Potter) at finding a connection that feels mutual?
The thoughtful doers I work with could be your emotional doppelganger. Smart, accomplished, and baffled by how people continue to be wildly disappointing.
You’ve come to this point because something’s still not right even after all the classes,workouts, and self-help podcasts/books.
You want more than this-
cycle you’re in.
(Thanks but not really Puritan work ethic).
Licensed in MD, DC, and CA
Somatic Experiencing via Somatic Experiencing Institute
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Beginner I, II, and III Trainings
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Intermediate I, II, and III Trainings
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Advanced Training Fall 2024
Emotionally Focused Therapy Externship
Intersubjective Psychoanalytic Training
M.A in Clinical Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) from Pepperdine Univ.
B.S. from USC (SoCal)
Look my brain had to get on board too, so here’s all the ways I was doing my own work, and getting to be the best damn therapist for you:
Now I know you just freaked out a little at “alternative therapy” after Googling what the hell Somatic Experiencing is.
(I mean it’s only supported by 45 years of Peter Levine, Dr. Stephen Porges, Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, and a tidal wave of other research), but skimming on the surface like sessions at BetterHelp ain’t gonna get you where you need to go.
Deeper.
No more splashing in the shallow end thinking it’s 9 feet.
Yeah, I know it’s hard to set down the trophy of intelligence that you’ve worked so hard to win. It’s absolutely got its place, no doubt.
But we’ve been ignoring a large body of evidence <wink, wink> that can help us figure out what the older parts of our systems think about what’s going on.
And that’s the shit that's driving the bus.
But even though you have no idea what it would be that you would want to do differently, I bet you could wield that wicked vocabulary of yours for hours describing how you want to feel differently couldn’t you?
I can tell you right now that that starts with identifying the needs that are going unmet. Hold up. YOUR needs. Not others ‘cause you’re probably meeting all of those.
And trust me, I get it. I've been there, wrestling with my own unmet needs and quiet despair.
Check out this snippet of my story that might sound all too familiar…
POV: me in my own therapist’s office 12 years ago. I told my therapist (Shout out Bonnie, I know you probably won’t ever read this, but I’m eternally grateful for you):
“I’m about to lose my fucking mind. What meditation/medication/CBD combo should I be taking right now?”.
Plagued by migraines, I’d seen all the doctors. I’d committed to 30 classes in 60 days at barre thinking more exercise= more endorphins= more happy feelings. I attempted powering through this like I had everything else, “it’s just a phase” I thought 🙄 my actual needs be damned.
I was fighting tooth and nail to not admit what my body was screaming at me. I was woefully unfulfilled and unhappy. “I don’t ever want to feel like this again. I’m so done”, I thought.
Thankfully I didn’t have to keep on living that way. Over time in my own therapy, I discovered I was highly sensitive. That meant getting real honest about how much I was forking over mentally and physically. And more importantly really taking stock of how much was coming back to me.
(And in my quest for self discovery I did all the quizzes: Myers Briggs INFP, Enneagram 4, Gallup’s Strengthsfinder–way too many to list, but rest assured Empathy is my number 1 in and out of session).
Only in hindsight did I see that my body communicated with me years before my mind caught up. “WTF brain, you’re supposed to be the smart one! Right…?”